The Ne'er-do-well Boyfriend
Updated: Nov 13, 2019
Without question, one of the most frequent case requests we get at Starr Advisory Services is to investigate what we call the "ne'er-do-well" boyfriend.
Like all families, prosperous families naturally worry about new boyfriends. But financially successful families seem to worry more, often wondering if the new boyfriend is more interested in their daughter or her trust fund.
These are sensitive issues because most parents don't want to make their children feel that they don't trust her judgment. And, to be honest, 9 times out of 10 our investigation doesn't uncover anything to worry about. But successful families do have unique reasons to be cautious. While most people are generally good, there are a few bad apples out there who prey upon people whom they perceive as having access to money.
Our Recent Case
In a recent case, we were asked to investigate a sudden marriage proposal. The parents of the bride-to-be were concerned that the new boyfriend (who was more than twenty years older than their daughter) was anxious to get married as soon as possible. Furthermore, something about him didn't seem quite right. He evaded questions about his background and avoided meeting with the parents despite their multiple invitations to get together.
Our background investigation uncovered that the new boyfriend had lived in more than 20 different homes during the last 15 years. Furthermore, he had a nasty criminal record and several judgments against him based on ill-conceived and failed business ventures.
Perhaps he was turning over a new leaf! But the evidence seemed to point in the direction of a man who was cornered by debtors and needed money to get straight. Could this be the reason that he was rushing into marriage with an affluent young woman who has substantial financial resources at her disposal?
We take no pleasure in illuminating the darker side of human nature. However, families have a lot to protect -- first and foremost is their children.
It's not our business at Starr Advisory Services to make recommendations on whether or not a young woman should marry a suitor. However, having relevant information about the background of a suitor may help the family engage in a productive conversation with their child about the risks associated with marrying a person who has an extensive criminal background or a poor financial track record.
Most theories of criminology suggest that people with criminal backgrounds, especially when these backgrounds include crimes of moral turpitude, are more likely than people with clean records to engage in future deviant behavior. Many people are able to overcome (or "mature out" of) their past behaviors. But the older a person is when he or she breaks the law or makes bad financial decisions, the less likely it is that a person will become a model citizen and make for a good spouse.
In this particular case, the daughter was surprised to find out about her would-be husband's past behaviors. She took it upon herself to confront him with the facts. Let's just say that no one is registering for china.
We also feel compelled to mention that this situation may have been resolved before it became a major issue if this particular client had been utilizing our Routine Activity Investigation services. These services are designed to monitor changes in routines, situations and behaviors to proactively identify and mitigate risk factors such as new friends with expansive criminal histories.
Starr Advisory Services.
For help with family investigations, please contact us at Starr Advisory Services. We specialize in helping prosperous families with domestic investigations, property investigations, and business investigations.